Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
