So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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