Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
