I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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