i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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