Buhtt sex?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
