it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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