that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Randomize
