Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
