If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
