I accidentally burped into my bong.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
