You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
