Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
