Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have feelings that need drinking.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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