i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
do herpes really smell.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
