what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
