Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
