ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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