Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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