Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
