# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
