I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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