i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
