question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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