i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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