I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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