i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
