You made me cry and you don't even care
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
