Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
