I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
