the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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