God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
