So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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