So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
