he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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