The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
