I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
