I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
