That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i think im in europe. pls send help
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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