Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
