i just google imaged poop.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
