You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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