yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
