How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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