Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
