Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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