I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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