yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
