You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
