I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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