think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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