We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
50% drunk capacity currently
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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